I was talking to my dad on the phone early and I was telling him about my schedule and he remarked “not long left now”. Which is…actually very true. I’ve been so caught up in stress of revision and procrastination from said revision that I’ve not really thought about it at all but lectures really did finish last week, and its just my four exams to go now. (Well, not “just” because they are HORRIBLE and I need to pass them quite badly, but you get what I mean.) Therefore, my second year at university is coming to a close, and my first year doing Electrical and Electronic Engineering. In just a matter of months I’ll be in my third year of university, and my second year of my course (Yes, that confuses me too. Do I call myself a second year? Or a first year?…A first year plus?) It still feels like yesterday that I was at school. But, in reality, that’s a long time past now. I have no ties to that place anymore. Sometimes I think of it, of course, but
I mostly think of how much I hated it. I remember what the teachers said to me, and how they treated me, and I become motivated from it though. I was took aside by my head of year and told to reconsider doing engineering, well look who’s doing engineering now! Petty, yes, but its satisfying to imagine how they’d react if they knew. Not that they’d ever know. I haven’t been back. Hell, I don’t even speak to any of my old ‘friends’ from school anymore, apart from two people. Instead of blossoming into a social butterfly whilst at university, I seem to have become even more introverted and anti-social. I think I have grown into my personality though, just in my own way. I do think its easier being shy at university than it is at school though. At school you have to be part of a group, but not at university. Its a much less diverse environment at school, in the obvious sense, and also in the sense that there is more pressure to conform. I’m glad I did not go back to school and repeat my A levels, and did the foundation year instead. The foundation year is also becoming just another piece of the past, but it was always supposed to be that way. It was really just a stepping stone, a brief stop before going to this university. I don’t miss it at all. When I think of it, I think of how much I liked it though, and I remember that feeling- being full of hope and motivation, having confidence in what I was doing, being so determined to do well. All of it, in a way I don’t think I’ll ever be to quite the same level again. Today, I slept until 12, procrastinated, then spent my evening hanging out in the library attempting to study and not getting very much done at all. Its not enough. It doesn’t feel like enough.
Second year is going to be something else, if all goes to plan. I can’t wait for it to be sorted out so I can stop being so vague and talk about it here. I hope second year will be good, although its definitely gonna be tough (Hello, C++ and other such things I didn’t enjoy in their ‘basic’ forms this year, and am not looking to expanding on the next). I complained a lot this year, but wait for second year! Heh.
In the end, even if sometimes I get stressed out and swear I hate engineering, I am happy doing this degree. And I like my university, too. I was actually pretty keen on going to university in Scotland but I’m glad I didn’t. Lets not mention how I was rejected from the Scottish uni I badly wanted to go to and focus on how much more awesome my current uni is and how I’m glad that events took me here. I would have never imagined I ended up here, of all universities, but I’m glad I came here. I think I could do four years here.