Whenever I move to a new place I always do my best to find out where the cats are, and which ones are friendly. In my last house there were three cats down the road adjacent to my house, and I’d pass them by on my way to/from the bus stop and spend a little…fine a lot of time petting them and letting them climb all over me, because yes, I would sit down on the curb just to be with them for a time. In my new neighbourhood I sourced three cats all very close to me – two gingers and a black cat. The black cat is rarely out, and one of the gingers cat even harder to see, but that left one ginger cat, who was very friendly and was often out and about when I was. I’d see him to/from work and he would let me pet him. Sometimes he’d follow me to my door and show interest in being let in, but I never let him in and he never really pushed for it. It was fine.
Then my own cat died.
And one night, when the little ginger cat came to my door and asked to be let in, I pushed open the door and let him in. He ran in, ran up the stairs to my flat, looked around, then turned round and went back outside. I was a little relieved. I thought that was it. But there was a next time. The next time, he came and started exploring a little. Then there was another next time, and many more after that. I was not feeding him so I figured it was OK, I could pet him a little, let him explore a little, then kick him out and he wouldn’t become particularly attached because I wasn’t feeding him, and I figured he’d get annoyed with being kicked out and stop coming eventually and that was OK. I liked his company, but I am aware that he is not my cat and that I am not allowed pets in my flat. I missed my cat though, and I wanted some feline company, and it was only for a few minutes, so I pretended that it was fine. But.
He didn’t get bored. He started to fall asleep here, staying for whole afternoons on the weekends or when I am working from home. And finally, he has started to sit outside my door, wailing to be let in, at random times of the day and even at night. I know I need to ignore him but it kinda breaks my heart to hear him meowing. It’s hard to ignore him. I feel awful ignoring him. I usually end up giving in and letting him in. I know I started this, after all.
It’s…become a problem now. He has become very clingy – always at the door meowing to be let in, and he always seems to be out when I get home, and then he runs to my door and what can I do? I need to get inside myself. And if I manage to get inside without him, he sits out there and meowls at me. He knows I am inside. I know he’s outside.
I just want him to go home. It’s not right. I know. His owner is hopefully not ignorant to the nature of cats – she is probably used to him disappearing for hours, and probably knows he may interact with other people. All cat owners know, or should know, that cats have very little loyalty and are very independent. But ultimately the cat should, usually does, comes home to its owner and eats there. I haven’t been feeding this cat at all, but he still seems reluctant to go home and that worries me. I don’t want to be a cat napper! I don’t want to violate the terms of my rental contract. But I love cats, and I miss my own desperately. I have started to feel lonely since I lost my cat, even though I hadn’t lived with her for years. (I don’t get it either.)
I have no idea how to resolve this. Cats don’t know the word “no.” I don’t want to spray water at him to chase him off, because I’d feel so mean. I love cats too much to take such a stance against him. It’s not like I want to get rid of him completely, I just don’t want him inside anymore. My only hope is that the flat I think he is coming from is on the market to be sold, and if his owner could just move and take him away, that would be the easiest way. Because I have no idea how to handle this myself. I am completely weak to his advances. (I mean just look at him. He’s adorable. <\3 )