Goodbye Days

I thought I would keep track of my university life here but umm…that didn’t quite work out did it? These past couple of weeks have gone by in a blur.

I’m utterly exhausted at the moment. Partly from early start every day, and the long walk across campus every day (the campus that is pretty but hilly. And I always seem to be going uphill ¬_¬) A larger part because I got woken up the other night by the fire alarm going off. At 1.49am. At first I sat up, decided I was dreaming and curled up back in bed but eventually I dragged myself out, only just remembering to grab my sweater and lock my door. What followed was over an hour stood outside, half asleep, and bored, without a watch or my phone to keep track of time, and no idea what’s going on. I met up with my neighbour and we had random conversation, comparing all the things that didn’t work in our rooms (no hot water and terrible internet seems to be common). Of course the fire was in my block so by the time we were let in, my block had further wait for the smoke to filter out. Got back to bed at 3:48am. Had to wake up at 7am the next day. It was hell. Although thankfully no damage, of course. Living in halls is quite…interesting? There are certain things I hate about it, and the food is so-so to do-I-have-to-eat-this but my room is comfortable and it gets cleaned for me and the bathroom is decent (usable) and also gets cleaned for me and I get £5.10 a day to spend at any university food outlet at lunch so I think its ok. The internet sucks though: my dad is helping me buy a 3G dongle. It is that bad. Some days I can’t connect at all. And yes, it’s sad I can’t browse the web but I’m also thinking that this wouldn’t be good when I do actually have coursework to do- you know?

I don’t have any coursework right now, though slowly the work is piling up. I have completely forgotten everything from my foundation year too, which is horrible. I have a big list of things-I-need-to-go-over already and no motivation to actually do that. Can’t believe I’m already being so lazy D: Did I mention I was tired though? That’s not a good excuse is it? My schedule is not really that packed, but I have a 9am start everyday. Monday’s are the worst- with lectures from 9:00am-13:00pm and then 14:00pm-16:00pm and then Japanese class from 18:30pm-20:30pm. I like my degree, and my university, but I have some bad lecturers and well, two hours on maths is just not fun. You go into Engineering knowing its going to be hard, but its only once you’re doing it that it hits you just how difficult it is. And this is only first year. My friend is in 2nd year of the same course and her schedule is just…I don’t know how she does it. Anyway, I think so far maths is the worst, followed closely by labs, and then programming. I am still amazed I am actually learning programming. It’s interesting but so hard and I keep making stupid mistakes. Today I commented out all my code, didn’t realise and asked one of the PhD students for help- “it won’t work”. The look he gave me…it was so embarrassing.

Apart from university things I did manage to join a few clubs/societies. Freshers fair was the most petrifying thing ever, but I got free pizza, and I stumbled upon a club I didn’t think of joining before. Which would be archery. Yeah, I do archery every Wednesday. It’s a good sport for someone un-athletic, although I wouldn’t say it’s easy. But it’s something I can do, and it can be boring, but it’s something to do, and it can be kind of fun. And you know, archery. That’s cool. Also joined badminton, for which I had my first session last Friday. That was super awkward. So many people. So many people who could play badminton. I was painfully bad and I had no idea about the rules which made it all worse. It was awfully embarrassing. Oh well. It can only get better? Also joined a charity group, cos its free and pretty low commitment- you can sign up to help out with whatever you want. And of course, Japanese lessons. I am learning Japanese…again. Third times a charm? The first lesson was on Monday and I’ve forgotten how awkward and embarrassing language learning in a class can be, but it’s a language I love which makes it easier. I will do it this time: I’m spending so much on it I hope that becomes the motivation for me to finally get somewhere with it!!

Everything about this, this whole university thing, is awkward and embarrassing in so many ways. So many awkward, “did I just say that?!”, wish the ground would swallow you whole kind of moments. I have managed to meet a couple of people, I guess. I went with one guy to Tesco one night. He’s a little strange, but nice, and genuine. I went to lunch with another guy which was the most awkward thing ever. Man, I was so glad when that was over (I think he was too). And I had my first lab session yesterday and the guys I’m with are both really nice, clever without being snobby/arrogant about it…which is basically who you want in a lab partner. o/ And yes, all guys. There seemed to be a few more girls than I was expecting during Week one, but I don’t know what happened to them all cos there’s only about 10 or 13 now. :/ I’ve met people through my clubs/societies though, and its fun to meet a lot of other people who are also not into the clubbing, getting drunk thing, cos so many people in my halls seem to be (I get the pleasure of listening to people shouting “wake up! Time for lectures!” at 2am and music so loud you can feel it, cleverly played before the 11pm quiet time begins…) I don’t really speak to people in my halls usually, and I eat my meals alone, but I’m cool with that. I get on with the people in my course thus far, and I’ve started to make acquaintances in my clubs/societies. And really, I’ve grown to accept that I’m not going to be one of those people who come to uni and go out to clubs etc…and that will make it a bit of a longer process to meet people…but that’s OK. I’m doing this my own way, and it’s OK.

I wouldn’t say I’ve entirely settled in, but I’m getting the hang of this university living-away-at-home thing. I would like to think. At first I was a bit worried, about everything, about meeting people, about living in halls, but I am managing to cope. And I’m glad I came here. Despite this, I’m also glad to be going home for a couple of days this weekend. No, actually I cannot wait. I do still miss home in some ways : (

There’s so much more I could say, but this long ramble is enough for now. I’ve installed the wordpress app on my phone so hopefully I will manage to post shorter posts more frequently from now on! (Maybe…)