So I’m back in the UK. Came back about two days ago and have been spending my time catching up on Life is Beautiful and Friends and not doing much else. I’m really tired. It’s strange being back in the UK, in a way. Everything is in English again! There aren’t any vending machines everywhere I look or convience stores. All the people are white and just not as beautifully made up as the Japanese (Japanese woman dress amazingly well (and modest. it’s so great being in a place were I don’t have to see boobs and/or bras hanging out and people wearing leggings without long enough tops) and they wear high heels for anything! And police men and people who work at the station wear such formal uniforms. appearance really seems to be everything there.) And it’s strange how small the UK feels, when Japan is even more cramped than this place. I don’t get that. Anyway. Japan is a really beautiful, interesting place. I had a  lot of fun. Yeah it was uncomfortably hot and it was difficult with the language barrier. If I was to go again I’d have to learn how to speak Japanese. But I got by. And I got used to it. I liked it there, loved it even. It was everything I expected plus a load of surprises. It’s definitely different actually being there compared to just reading about it.

I saw tourist attractions and ate at nice places and shopped and bought some gorgeous clothes. It was scary being by myself, but at the same time I felt a strange sense of freedom. I no longer had anyones expectations to live up to, including the expectations of myself. I could just let go and be. Sometimes I just went out for long walks through the city, enjoying the feeling of being lost in the crowd and all those lights. It was an amazing 10 days. I didn’t think about anything and I didn’t go on the internet at all, it was truly a break from everything. I feel kind of bummed out now after coming back. I don’t miss Japan, for it’s far different living in a place for a long time compared to visiting there, though  I do miss certain things about it. And I just, all those things I could avoid thinking about there are all back on my mind. It’s like it was a dream and now I’m back to reality and it’s just as ugly as it has been for too long. I don’t want to be here.

Japan 2010

Tokyo Sunset by AltusJAPAN HOLIDAY IS BOOKED. 26th July-4th August. Plane tickets booked, tour booked, and found a good company to rent a cellphone from (I get to play with a Japanese cell for 10 days! My phone was the latest model in 2005. I am so happy to get hold of some modern technology!). Japan has always been this distant dream of mine, something I only saw in photos, read about and imagined. I never prepared myself for the reality I would actually end up going there. I am scared to be excited, because then I’ll expect things and most likely end up dissapointed but… I AM SO EXCITED DESPITE MYSELF. I need this holiday, and I need it to be by myself.