RUNAWAY

This entry is so hard to write. I got back to the UK on Friday and I thought I’d write something on Saturday, but I underestimated just how exhausted and jet lagged I was.  I feel so tired that my brain feels like its turned to mush. Even this far on from landing in the UK I’m still waking up at  7am  every morning and I’m still so very tired.

And it’s difficult to know where to begin- how to put into words everything that has happened since I left Malaysia. I have a handful of half written entries written in Japan but most days are blank, and my memories are too bright and vivid, blurring out the little details.

Japan was amazing though. There were times where I was tired or moody or embarrassed. I tried to climb a mountain in the snow and failed. My dad changed plans last minute without discussing it with me and I got angry. I realized how useless just knowing hiragana was, and cursed myself for struggling with katakana still as knowing that alone would have been far more useful, and I felt frustrated because of this and embarrassed too, as my Father clearly expected more from me. I realized it is best to visit Japan with some grasp of Japanese or none at all- with just this small amount of knowledge, having just these bits and pieces is frustrating, as you can begin to try and comprehend, but lack the knowledge to really understand or communicate. On the other hand, there were so many more moments I felt so happy I was almost overwhelmed with it. After how difficult things have this year, it was a relief to feel free of that heavy weight. I succeeded in climbing another mountain, I was driven through lush forests along twisty mountain roads and through sleepy fishing villages in remote areas. I finally got to see Northern Tohoku and Hokkaido and I felt so blessed and so happy to have been able to have done so. It was all so breathtakingly beautiful and showed a hidden side of Japan, so far removed from the frantic pace and overwhelming crowds of Tokyo.

It was over so, so soon. The journey up to Sapporo was long and lingering- we travelled to Aomori by Shinkansen then stayed there for a few days, before working up to Hakodate, taking a brief stop there, then finally landing in Sapporo. Then we took the flight back to Tokyo and I realized then how little time I had left, and the last two days in Japan were clouded by that anxiety, that soon I would be back in the UK.

On Thursday 13th June at 4pm Japan time my Father and I boarded the limousine bus at our hotel and began the journey back. The bus journey was long and boring, with a little kid sat right behind us who was excited and chatty and loud about it. He reminded me of my sister and I when we travelled when we were younger- and I resisted the urge to apologize to my father. He was sleeping, anyway. I have a feeling I exhausted my father with this holiday, maybe was a little hard on him, although he’d never admit to it so I do not think I can be blamed for it.

Once at the airport we went to pick up the extra baggage we had left there then found ourselves a quiet corner by our airline check in counter to sort out our stuff and repack to get our weights in order. In the end my father had my 11kg of stuff that had been left at the airport, plus 17kg of checked in baggage and 7kg hand luggage. I had 29kg of checked in luggage and 7kg of hand luggage. I was amazed that we’d managed to meet the luggage limitations so perfectly and easily- having expected to be tearing through my luggage in frustration for much longer trying to make it all work, having been afraid we would not be able to make it work. We went and joined the queue and got our luggage checked in no problem and one of my major worries was totally erased. My dad and I hunted out a McDonald’s to eat supper then got through customs before rushing to the day rooms on the air side so we could make our 8pm bookings. We’d tried to get a late checkout but the hotel had wanted about £70 for that, so I’d looked into showering facilities at Narita and was surprised to find they had small hotel rooms to rent by the hour which we could use. I booked us two singles just for an hour so we could freely access our stuff and take a shower. I tell you, that hour made all the difference. The rooms were small but clean and simply being able to spread out all my stuff and take a long, hot shower left me feeling refreshed and ready as I would ever be for the flights. The first flight was 10 hours to Dubai. It was dull. I eventually slipped into sleep about four hours in, but it was not the good quality stuff. Then there was a 4 hour layover at Dubai.  It was also dull. My dad bought my a load of fruit for breakfast and we walked around in circles round the terminal for a bit, then sat at the gate and willed time to pass. Actually, my dad napped as I willed time to pass. Then there was 7 hours flying to Manchester. That was even worse than dull- time just dragged on and on and on and I felt so ill by that point, and tired but unable to sleep, and itchy from too long in the dry, unforgiving plane air conditioning. I flew on an airbus for the first time but it was nothing different- the seat was a little wider, and the toilets had fancy fake wooden seats is all. I think the air bus is better for the staff- they have more space to rest and also to work without having people queuing for the toilets or wanting to stand up for a while getting in their way. Finally, we arrived at Manchester. Lunchtime, Friday 14th June. We had a long wait to collect our baggage then dragged it all to the train station…onto the train…and then home…

The rest of the day was spent unpacking, giving out gifts, chatting with family before going to bed at 7pm, sleeping straight through to 6am the next morning.

Since then… On Saturday I went grocery shopping with my Father. We’d both woken early and headed out at around 8am or 9am to do so,  some crazily early time like that. I came back and freaked my mother out with the relish I ate a ham, pepperoni and salami sandwich. On Sunday we went for a walk through the gardens of a local stately house near where we live. On Tuesday I spent some time with my father dismantling my new computer  in order to clean it, and I’m pleased to say that although I’m still clueless about computers, I now at least have some idea of where everything goes in one. Which is a start. Today I spent some  time with my mother rooting through her makeup drawers. This is a task I’ve always enjoyed since I was little- my mothers vanity drawers are seemingly endless, packed with all manners of interesting, pretty, expensive looking things. Today I rooted out some eyeliners from kanebo, elizabeth arden and ysl. My timing was good as my mother was feeling generous and let me have them all.

I think that coming back was fairly underwhelming. Nothing has changed. I looked out the train and the car and its all the same. I come back to the house and there’s been some changes around the house and at first I feel uncomfortable, like a stranger in my own home- I couldn’t find a plate in the kitchen, there were no toiletries for me in the bathroom, even my room was strange and unfamiliar, something I’d not seen for so long, and I wondered if it was always like this. Now a few days later and I’m settled and this summer is like any other- days drag on and I’m bored. My mother frustrates me at times but I do my best not to snap. My cat is whiny but cute enough to get away with it. During the day, today, my Father and my Sister are not here and its terribly quiet, not a sound, not even from outside. The UK is grey and I’m sitting here in a hoodie and a scarf, indoors, with the heat on. But even I have not changed all that much. I’m a little tanned, I’m a lot cold, I have stories about foreign places, but I’m still the same person. Everything slides back into place so easily, as if nothing happened at all. As if I’ve never been away.

I’m not sure whether to feel relieved about this or disappointed. I thought coming back to the UK would be… something. Something large and difficult that I had to conquer. I thought it would be more difficult than this. Maybe in some strange way I wished it would be. I don’t really know how to explain why I have this feeling. Its just anticlimactic, I guess. That you can go away for so long and when you turn back nothing has changed.

“Wonder what to wish for this time”

Penang State MuseumDelicious Indian Food in Little IndiaPenang JettyPenang JettyLanterns at Kek Lok Si TempleKek Lok Si Temple

PENANG, DAY 2 – The Tune Hotel turned out to be a good hotel, despite its strange setup. the view over down town Penang was appealing. The location was excellent, the room was a decent size, with a lovely rain shower in the bathroom and a comfortable bed. In fact, for the second day in Penang I had a hard time waking myself up and dragging myself out of the very large, comfortable bed. I’m sure there was a part of me eager to continue to explore Penang, but I was also pretty exhausted. It goes without saying that my friend and I left out hotel at a later time than we had planned, although thankfully still with enough time to get everything done before flying back to KL in the evening.

We started this day by looking for the Burmese temple and unfortunately not finding it. We traipsed the length of the road it was on, peering down every side street but alas, it was not to be found, not without much more time than we had. We had to return to the hotel, to pack up the last of our things and check out. Then we walked to the Penang State Museum. It was a very hot, uncomfortable journey, especially carrying a backpack. We passed a few interesting buildings though. That was actually a theme for this weekend-passing by a lot of things, taking a quick look then walking onto the things we wished to do. In that way, we managed to see a decent amount of Penang without actually putting in any effort or time to see it, which is good. The Museum itself was in a very gorgeous building and contained a lot of information about Penang’s history and all the cultures that live there. It was very interesting and a good size- large enough to be informational, but not too large to get boring or confusing. Afterwards we headed on to Little India for lunch, going to a restaurant my friend had been to before and liked. I could definitely understand why she loved the place. The food was gorgeous. In the UK we get Indian food about once a month and I didn’t realize how much I miss it until I was eating it. I adore Indian food. This was Indian food both familiar and unfamiliar. The curry was delicious, but much the same as the ones we once got from our brilliant local Indian, but the naan bread was nothing like I’ve every tasted. It was so sweet and delicious. When the food came out I panicked at the large portion size, but I pretty much devoured all of it in the end. I’m definitely gonna be going to Little India in KL sometime, to source out food that good.

Feeling very sated, we walked to the Penang Jetty. It was very pretty and definitely unique. Afterwards we bought some violently colored ice lollies to eat at one of the small stores on the jetty. I bought a blueberry one, of course. I love all the fake blueberry goods here- blueberry fanta, blueberry cream biscuits, blueberry ice, even blueberry cream oreos. Actually, I love all the artifical, E number filled junk here. I hate how in the UK they try and make everything healthy. Sorry, but in my opinion some things are supposed to be bad for you. That’s why you eat them every now and then as a delicious, overly sweet, artificial treat! (Or not at all, if you want to be truly healthy.) My favourite is the taste of artificial orange, although artificial blueberry is becoming a close second favourite now. Well, nonetheless, my tongue now stained an attractive blue, it was time to go to the Kek Lok Si temple. Got to the bus terminal and there was some confusion over which bus to take, but thankfully we found someone to ask who directed us to the right bus. Of course, we then had to figure when to get off the bus. The whole journey was not overall relaxing, as I was fairly tense about keeping an eye out and making sure we didn’t miss our stop and end up in some random part of nowhere. Thankfully, we did manage to get off at the right stop (with the help of a very nice bus driver) and the entrance to the temple was also very obvious. We began the ascent to the temple, which was crowded, with markets either side selling all manner of random junk, and sellers eagerly calling out to try and sucker you in. It was nothing you don’t see anywhere else though- clothes, jewelery, touristy items- so my friend and I didn’t linger and kept on going up until we reached the temple.

The temple was beautiful. It was very busy and in a way, I was glad I did not go during the peak time during the Chinese New years. The crowds would have been unbearable then. As it was, we actually did get to see all the lanterns that were hung up- hundreds and hundreds of them. Just not lit up. It was still gorgeous. We went right to the top and sat there for a while, taking in the view of the town and what could be seen of the temple below us as we contemplated our plans for the rest of the day. We left the temple soon after that, going back down through the crowded markets to the town. We stopped at a Chinese Traditional Biscuit Place there and I bought these lovely Pandan Cake Biscuits. Pandan is another thing I am obsessed with here, Pandan Kaya too. I have no idea what either is but they taste heavenly as say, biscuits, cake or waffles! Then we had the challenge of finding a bus to get back. It was not very clear where to go at all, so we eventually asked someone who directed us to a stop we would have never have found ourselves. There was no sign of a bus though, nor any real way of knowing when it would come. Typical Malaysian transport, really.

I nibbled on a few of my new pandan cakes whilst waiting for the bus. They were odd but strangely addictive. It seems to be a Thing here to have cake wrapped in pastry, and this was pretty much based on that idea. The dry, bland taste of the pastry in contrast to the moist , sweet cake had its own appeal. The bus came after a long, anxious wait in the sticky heat and we boarded, heading straight back to Komtar where we would be catching a bus to go to the airport. We had a bit of time so we looked round the shops a little before catching the bus. There were some nice stores but I had no money so could not buy anything. A pity, as I saw some really nice shoes. (I reassure myself that they would likely not have come in my size, anyway.) And that was pretty much it for the weekend.

This trip to Penang was a whirlwind affair but it was great fun to see another part of Malaysia and to spend some time with my friend. I am so glad that I’ve seen some of the scenery that Malaysia has to offer now too- such as the forest and gorgeous stretches of white sand.

“Though sweet and silent, time passes by”

Sun rising over Penang International Airportpenang1_02penang1_03
PENANG, DAY ONE – I wanted to go to Penang during Chinese New Years, as the lights at the Kek Lok Si temple are meant to be magnificent at that time. However I did not want to go alone, and my friend was not free then. She was free the weekend before though…so we booked plane tickets and a cheap hotel to go then. Due to circumstance it would be a very quick, almost rushed trip, with an early morning flight on Saturday from KL to Penang followed by an evening flight from Penang back to KL on Sunday. This meant when I booked the taxi I had to accept that they would be picking us up at 4.10am. :/

I made plans to go to bed early on Friday night but time slipped away and I ended up going to bed at 1am. I had only gotten up at 2pm and I was feeling anxious about all the various things that could go wrong so when my alarm went off at 3am,  I merely sat up and got out of bed and went to get ready without ever actually falling asleep. At 4.00am I get a phone call from the taxi driver to say he had arrived. At 4.10am I left my room and met my friend in the corridor and we headed down to the taxi. The taxi driver greeted us much too cheerily for the early time, though admittedly I was feeling very hyped up from lack of sleep. My friend fell asleep almost as soon as the taxi left campus but I was fully awake, left to stare out at the scenery,  restless and still finding it hard to settle. I was quite excited once we left the taxi, looking forward to Penang, interested in my current surroundings as it was only my second time at LCCT, and basically irritably chatty and energetic compared to my poor friend, who was quiet and subdued with exhaustion. I always get this way when I have not slept, my sister does too. Every time we get a early morning flight to Cape Town, and we’re talking having to get to the airport at 4 or 5am here, our parents struggle to cope with my sister and I, clearly wondering why they were stuck with toddlers again. There have been many times they have not been able to get my sister and I to shut up.

Well, my friend and I decided that we should probably have breakfast, even if neither us particularly wanted it, and so we wandered around trying to decide what to eat. Eventually I left my friend at McDonald’s and went to Old Town cafe to buy myself some toast- the plainest, most ungreasy thing there seemed to be at the airport. I was feeling nauseous already, and we weren’t even on the plane yet. Worse, I knew I could not take my anti-nausea tablets as they would make me spacey, impossible to function properly really. My friend and I sat,  ate and had a good early morning bitch to pass the time until we could go to the gate. The time passed quickly that way. Soon we were off to departures, only to be turned away because we’d gone to international departures XD we were both so sleepy and out of it- me in my hyper active way, and my friend who looked like she was about to pass out at any second. We went to the right place and got through to the gate, which was crowded and noisy, where we sat and waited for our flight. Then came the long walk to the plane. I was still overly enthusiastic about the whole affair, on top of my excitement of going to Penang, and my interest in my surroundings, short distanced flying is still very new to me, and this was only my second time taking a budget flight, as generally flying long distance = non budget and as I usually only fly long distance… well.

My poor, poor, long suffering friend.

We got on the plane and by this point I was not feeling good at all- light headed and nauseous. The plane journey was a not a good one. My friend dozed but I was too hyped up too doze, too nauseous to read or do anything. Thankfully, although not pleasant, the flight was very quick, with gorgeous views of the sun rising over the sea as we started to descend.

From the airport we took a taxi to the nearby Snake Temple. This experience was a little strange. We arrived there quite early and there was no one about. It was open, though, so we walked in and had a look around. My friend had heard from a friend that they had like, pits of snakes. As we entered the temple we were confused, wondering if we’d come to the wrong place…there were no snakes. We entered a room where there was a single other group of tourists and two snake handlers, carrying a large snake. There were some snakes who had draped themselves around the tops of the columns in the room. Still, it was hardly anything exciting. We had a walk around the rest of the temple but the place was deserted, both by snakes and humans. Eventually my friend asked the handlers what had happened to the snakes, and he pointed out a few in the main temple. It was like a game of spot the difference- here is your picture, now spot what is out of place. Needless to say, we left disappointed. We also left without much idea of how to get back on the road to get into Georgetown. We decided to try and find a bus stop, and thankfully we did find one fairly painlessly, mostly due to my friend. So, she sat down and I stood on guard, ready to throw myself at the next bus in order to get it to stop. Not that there were any forthcoming.

With few other options, we waited and discussed our plans for the weekend as we did so,  finally coming to the decision that we’d switch our Sunday plans for our Saturday plans, as our Sunday plans needed more time than we had then, and the weather looked more promising on the Saturday. Weather was important, as our Sunday plans were to go to the Penang National Park. I was pleased, as I had been worried at how we would fit it into Sunday, and I desperately wanted to go. I wanted to see some Malaysian scenery, you know? However, our new plans meant we could not afford to leisurely wait for a bus that may or may not come. We decided to hail a taxi even though it was a lot more expensive than the bus, and then endured an awkward drive with the driver pointing out the sights (fine) and trying to sell us his specialised tour (not so nice). It was like being in Thailand again, the way the taxi driver was being! I really hate pushy taxi drivers. Though I always wonder, who allows themselves to get suckered into parting with their money this way? Because they would not give us the hard sell, if sometimes it did not work, right?

Anyway, we got to the hotel in good time, sooner than we would think for the price we paid for the taxi, ahem, and went to try to check in. We were staying at the Tune Hotel in downtown Penang, and it was a curious hotel. During the check in I discovered that the “extras” my dad had thoughtfully booked with our room were actually essentials- a towel and some soap. So thank everything my dad thought to book them, as I had no idea it would work this way when I chose the hotel. Even the travelodge in the UK comes with these basics, and both me and my friend were a little taken aback, and I am not sure about my friend, but I was embarrassed at the thought of sharing a towel between us. Well, whatever, we tried to check in but could not. We could, however, leave our luggage there. So off we went to the bathrooms to change and sort our stuff. My friend would take her backpack and I would take my handbag, no matter how inappropriate it was to go walking with a handbag, and leave my backpack behind. We handed the backpack over, got the worlds smallest, most easy to lose luggage tag in return then went to find a taxi to get ourselves to the park. We once again got ripped off by the taxi driver, but its not like we had much choice. We had to get to the park quickly, aka not by bus, so we paid the premium. At least this time the journey was substantial, taking us through George Town and to the small town of Teluk Bahang, then right through it to the park entrance.

We had to register at the park entrance, where one girl was catering to the large crowd, meaning the queue was long.  There were a bunch of other tourists there, most of them better and more suitably dressed than me and my friend. At least my friend had a backpack- I just had my handbag. XD We eventually made it to the front of the line to register and get our maps, then set off with the goal of going to Monkey Beach, but feeling wary, with no idea how intense the walk would be or if we would even have the time. You see, the information on the Internet is very conflicting when it comes to this park- some sources say that the walk to the monkey beach is a gentle stroll, others say an intense walk not for the faint of heart. Some say it is quick, others say it is slow. The times the park itself displayed were again different. We really had no idea to expect but we knew that, if possible, we would go to Monkey Beach. Hell, at the beginning, we were dead set on attempting to get the lighthouse, even. We really had no idea.

We entered the park and found ourselves on a paved road. So far, not bad. It was very hot though, and not just that, but the sun was strong, and I could feel myself already becoming sweaty. The fact that I was hyper from lack of sleep had thankfully not begun to wear off yet though. Also: it was beautiful. to our left was the forest, and to our right were beaches of golden sand, and the sea stretching off into the distance. It was really, really gorgeous. This was the Malaysia that were sold when deciding to come here- this was the Malaysia splashed over the tourist brochures. We walked past those first few patches of sand and over the paved path into the forest proper, the trail very well marked, and very much an obvious trail, but it was dirt path now, and with all the minor obstacles you’d expect when walking through a forest. Still, not bad. It got more intense as we got along though, with stairs and bridges and clambering over rocks using ropes and walking over roots and under tree branches, through foliage… all the while it was hot, so very hot. The sun was intense as hell, and the humidity was as high as ever. I was sweating and panting in a highly unattractive manner. I was made to realise, not for the first time, that even after months spent in this country I am still not adjusted to this tropical climate. For the first time, I realised that I was probably never going to get used to it- I find humidity such an uncomfortable thing.

After longer than the map said it would take we made it to USM beach, where we sat to have lunch – some very nutritious chip sandwiches, and water. Then we continued onwards, still with the intention of going to Monkey Beach, even though we were both getting tired.

We did not make it. Eventually we had to accept that the path was getting too much for us, and we were tired, and there was a perfectly decent patch of sand that we had found, so we decided to stay there and leave Monkey beach to everyone else. I actually think that this was a good decision. We basically had this little beach all to ourselves. My friend settled down to read and I went off to explore. The sand was hard beneath my bare feet, initially, but as I walked on it turned to soft sand. I smiled to myself, walking right on the edge of the water, close enough so the waves could rush over my feet, but far enough that I would not get wet. I admired the view for a moment before turning my focus downwards, hunting for shells and interesting rocks. You’d think that at 20 years old such an activity would no longer interest me but it does and it did. It had been so long since I’d been to the beach. I spent a good while walking across the stretch of beach, exploring it, becoming familiar with what it had to offer, picking up the best bits, washing them off then laying them before my friend and whining at her to look at my findings (my poor, long suffering friend) , before setting off again. I made a few trips before  I finally decided to settle down, sitting on the sand and getting out my cellphone/kindle, although my tired brain could not focus. I did my best, though and at least I managed to calm myself enough that I was not disturbing my friend. With that calmness came the tiredness. I could feel myself heading to the crash- the point where I become quiet, and withdrawn, and  moody, like normal tired people.

The tide was coming in, so we decided to head back to USM, as I wanted to walk along the pier there. We ended up walking along said pier right to the end and settling on a bench right there, right out over the ocean. My friend read and I listened to music, staring out into the distance, soaking in the sun and the smell of the sea and just how lovely it was. I wanted to close my eyes and truly rest in the peaceful atmosphere that was just begging for me to do so, but I knew I would fall asleep. So I forced myself to keep my eyes open, and my mind to stay relatively alert even as it tried to drift, even as my eyes kept sliding shut.

I don’t know how long we stayed there, but it was a good while. Eventually we had to accept the tide was heading back and we had been there long enough, anyway, so we headed back the way we came. The way back was quicker, without us stopping to take pictures as much, and we both had a certain focus, now that we had decided that we were going back, and we actually very much wanted to get back. Once out the park we got a cool drink and sat for a bit, chatting idly and people watching a little. Then we de-registered from the park and left to find a bus. We ended up having to run to catch a bus that would drive, then stop and just sit for a good 30 minutes for some reason. Malaysian public transport really is an unreliable, unpredictable beast. It was a hellish wait, with the air con off, sitting there baking with no clue what was going on. It was relief when the driver got in and turned the bus on again, and with it the air con, and off we went. The bus journey was fairly long, but offered pleasant views in return. We got off at KOMTAR then walked back to the hotel to rest and freshen up a bit, as the only other thing we wished to do was go get food, and the place my friend wanted to go to would only open much later.

Much later, we did go out and did walk to the food place, then come back and finally, we were able to sleep. I don’t think I had fallen asleep so quickly in a long time.

“Don’t try to block the sun that shines on me”

I’m once again sitting at the airport waiting to board a flight. that’s kind of awesome isn’t it? This flying thing is becoming second nature to me and more importantly, I’m becoming more comfortable flying alone. No matter how much time I’ve spent at airports and on planes in my life, most of it was trailing after my father. Now, I can do these things myself.

I’ve been up since 6am and I’m exhausted. It was a rush to get everything packed and my room organized and it didn’t help that the taxi came early, adding extra pressure. Yes, I should have done it all before hand but those three days between my flight and my exam flew by me. It was only yesterday that it sunk in that I was going to Thailand and I started to get stressed out running around trying to get everything for today and eventually, eventually I bought a bottle of sprite and got cup full of ice, then went to sit on a bench close by my halls…overlooking not very much. But the view did not matter. the fresh air did, being out of my tiny room did, taking time out to slowly drink my sprite and chew on the ice did, letting my mind wander as it wanted did. I thought of many things, most of them nothing very important but as my mind worked its way to the core of the… the heaviness…the tiredness I’ve been feeling lately I realized I was very glad to be going to Thailand today. If I didn’t, I fear, no, I know I would end up spending my time in my room, slowly retreating back to a dark place I never wanted to visit again. I’m very sad right now.. Exams left me tired, disappointed in myself and just, regretful and yeah, maybe a little angry. and, I realized too, that I am perhaps grieving. I don’t know if I am, I don’t know what grief is and I still don’t feel like I’m doing it properly, if there is such a thing. But maybe this slow, festering pain and this heavy weight settling deep inside me is grief. At the bottom of it, I’m 15 again and the weight of my grief and my disappointment is crushing me right now. I cannot wait to just get away, to take a time to see how wonderful things are despite all the horrible things that have happened these past few weeks. To come to terms with the fact that life goes on and whatever gets left behind.. I have to let go of. I have to get my mind back into a better place before the next term. I cannot wait to see my sister again. I cannot wait to go elephant riding and temple sight seeing and jungle trekking and shopping and so many things beside. This is going to be awesome. I’m a little anxious, as usual, but I’m excited. I have so much to look forward to.

(N/B – For those that notice the time stamp, I wrote this at the airport at the gate where there was obviously no way for me to post it. Posting is now that I have internet and time to read through and spell check!)

“He’d been sitting on his nervous energy for so long, it was good to have something to do with it”

SceneryView from Bibong PeakStairs to Temple 1 and Temple 2View from Bibong Peak and sheer rock face that others were climbing upWoodlandFish at COEX aquariumShark viewing at COEX

If there is one thing I’ve always wanted to visit Japan and do, and one thing I regretted not being able to do when I did visit there, is to go to northern Japan and Hokkaido and go walking. I want to see the scenery there- see the woodlands, lakes, the iconic images of the cranes in wide fields of snow. For Korea I wanted to do much the same- I wanted to see some of the scenery as I had seen online and in Family Outing. I did not think it would be possible in just three days but I soon discovered that there is a famous and very popular national park right outside of Seoul- the Bukhansan National Park. I decided to dedicate the majority of my last day in Korea to go walking there. Apparently the views of Seoul from the peaks were fantastic and the national park website had details of all the trails and listed not a single one as difficult. So I picked one,  printed a map, and made sure to pack my hiking pants and boots.

Once again that Sunday I overslept, but not so badly as the day before. I got ready for the day and packed up my backpack with supplies then headed to Daechi. From Daechi it was straight through to Bulgwang station. I was not the only one heading out walking. I had heard hiking was a popular weekend past time in Korea and its true. There were many people dressed up in their proper hiking gear. I could not help but feel under dressed in even this. I was just wearing some casual pants and my hoodie. I most certainly did not look the part like they did. The journey to Bulgwang was long but I got there eventually. This is clearly a place a lot of hikers pass through- as I was walking looking for the bus stop I passed groups of people dressed for hiking, and a long market stall on the street selling hiking gear for the unprepared. I was tempted but not foolish enough to pay the premium prices even for a jacket. Besides, it was turning out to be a fairly pleasant day. The sun was out and the air was crisp, in the distance I could see the mountains- was one of them what I was going to climb?

Of course, first I had to get there. I eventually, by the power of deduction and from visiting nearly every bus stop stumbled upon the right one, the one that I assumed the vague instructions I had managed to get through googling was referring to. There is very little information about visiting bukhansan online. Very little. the question I was then faced with was- which bus?? I looked at the little paper where I had printed out the hangul and roman alphabet of the park and the gulgi tunnel, trying to pick the stop out on the map from it. Thankfully, just then a korean who had been waiting at the bus stop stepped up to me to ask me where I was going. He took my little bit of paper, pointed “This is where you are going?” I nodded. He pointed to the map and told me the bus number, then told me “Two stops” Thanking him I stepped back and we waited for the bus together. After a little while he got my attention again. “Sorry, ” he said “it’s three stops.” I felt almost overwhelmed by his kindness. Who does such things for strangers these days? The bus pulled up and he told me “This one” and I smiled at him, thanked him again and followed him onto to the bus. I took the seat behind him and clutched my bagpack, nervous still.

I counted off my stops then stepped off the bus, finding myself quite literally stranded. The instructions I had gotten online had told me to head straight for the bibong entrance but there were two roads! Thankfully there was another couple that had gotten off the bus, again dressed in their professional gear so I followed them and yes, I could see the mountains coming closer. It was a lovely stroll to the entrance of the park. It was so quiet and peaceful and the sun was shining up ahead…It was really a beautiful day that day. I had been worried about being too cold to hike or about rain but the sky was clear and it was sunny, I even had to stop to take off my hoodie.

I  landed up at the entrance to the national park and discovered it was not the bibong entrance, but the gulgi tunnel entrance. I stared at the map of the park and realized that I could still get to Bibong peak from where I was so I decided just to follow the masses and start walking. There really were a lot of people there, all of them professionally dressed and well, professionally walking. Not out of breath and stumbling along like someone. I had been very wrong to believe the park website when they listed all their walks as easy. This was not easy. The only walking I’ve done is in the Peak district and those gentle hills and country lanes are nothing compared to scrabbling over rocks and across streams like this. Eventually the path started curving upwards and I was literally scrabbling up over rocks and half way to vertical rock faces, that of course the koreans walked over like they were nothing. My heart was pounding and my breath came fast and I was nervous as hell about slipping and falling – it would have been so easy to misstep and end up with a broken skull. Yes, my thoughts became quite morbid. Eventually I reached a rest point where I saw another map and decided on my next direction. I wished I had taken a picture of the map; it was totally different from the one online. Pictures weren’t on my mind this day though. Just staying up right and not making a fool of myself in front of the professional Koreans was. This sounds like I wasn’t enjoying myself but I was. It was wonderful, exhilarating to push myself like this. To get up and do something other than sit in front of a screen all day.

I sat and had a drink of water and took in the scenery before continuing onwards, upwards, soon stumbling upon a beautiful temple, right there in the middle of the woods. I contemplated climbing up to the temple but there were many, many steps and I knew that if I was already feeling tired from the hike to the temple, then I really should not conserve my energy for the real climb up to bibong peak.

Because yes, the climb up to bibong was even more intense- scrabbling up more rocks, my legs cramping, my chest tightening as my heart pounded and my breathing became quick and shallow. I dramatically thought to myself I was going to die. But oh it was worth it once I got to the top. The top of bibong was a sea of people in their brightly clothed hiking gear, sitting around having picnics and drinking coffee and in the background, there was Seoul, misty and bright and beautiful. I wandered around, taking pictures, taking in the sight of it and eventually landed myself a pretty neat spot to sit and stare at the view , if not a particularly comfortable spot. I slowly ate the energy bar I had brought, then the chocolate, just sitting for ages, feeling something like contentedness take over me. Even if I was cold and tired I felt so peaceful.

Along the walk there had been some people who said hi to me, and now sitting there on the top I suddenly found myself approached by a Korean man, who was offering me a  cup of coffee. I stalled him, checking who he was with (his wife and family), checking the source of the water (a shared canister between him and his family), and then he brought out a sealed sachet of coffee and I relented, accepting it gratefully. As he made it he asked me about me. I got the usual “Where are you from?” and like always I stalled. It’s an awkward question when you don’t have a set national identity, when you are living abroad so far from home. My first instinct is always South Africa,before I remember I’m supposed to say “Manchester, UK” as even if its a lie, its the one that makes the most sense with my accent. Now that I’m living in Malaysia I do contemplate saying “Malaysia”, if only to see how people react but I know that is silly. The man left me with my cup of coffee and I decided to take my time with it, slowly savouring the bitter, cheap taste of instant coffee made straight with hot water and little else. I listened to music on my mp3 player, continued to stare out at the view, filled with amazement at how wonderful it was to be there, at how content I felt. These days it is so rare to feel so content, to just sit and look at a beautiful view and not feel anxious for all the things I should be doing. I also marvelled at how, next to me, there was a sheer 70-80 degree rock face that the Koreans were walking to the top of. Koreans really are great hikers. It was a sight to behold, seeing groups of people standing posing for pictures on such a sheer jut of rock.

Of course I had to get down the peak eventually, I couldn’t wait until it turned dark! I handed the man his cup back, thanking him with my best smile, he said it was nothing and even handed me an orange before I turned away.Again, the kindness of strangers is amazing isn’t it? I don’t expect much from strangers. Having two people be so nice to me on one day was amazing.

The question was- how to get down? I followed one path only to find it was going further up to another peak, and I was tired of climbing up. So I went back the way I came and stumbled upon a path leading downwards and even though the sign did not point to where I wanted to go I decided to follow it. This was not the wisest of decisions. I found myself on a beautiful quiet path snaking through the woodland. The ground was rocky and littered with leaves and beneath the leaves lurked patches of black ice. I discovered this when I slipped on the black ice,barely catching myself in time for a heavy fall. A Korean hiker told me to “take it easy” as he passed by me. I wanted to die of embarrassment. Of course there was no where to go but to keep following the path, so I kept following the path, and it was long and it was pretty and it was treacherous as hell. I was scrambling often, gripping onto nearby trees, sometimes slipping and sliding down rocks and even at times clutching at the ground to slow myself as I let myself slide down, because it was the only way to get down. I was aware of the sting of my hands from clutching the rough surfaces, of how muddy and disheveled I looked but nothing mattered more than staying upright, than not falling. I barely even got any pictures of the gorgeous scenery- there was no time to stop, I had to keep going, I had to get through this to a point where it would end already. Even though the climb was challenging it at least had not involved ice. Sometimes I would even have to cross over streams and that was terrifying- what if I fell in?! But I managed. I kept managing.

This path really was very long, I began to get worried that it would never end and I’d be stranded after dark…but then I reached another temple, after which I crossed a bridge, and finally found myself at a near deserted tourist center. I had made it! But- how to get back to Seoul? I decided that since I had no idea where I was and how to get back to Seoul and no one to ask that I would just keep following the other people who were leaving, who eventually led me to a main road…to a bus stop. I got on the bus that was the same number as the one I had taken before, even though I technically had no idea where it was going. The road signs pointed to a station that, on consulting my wrinkled subway map, was on the line back to Daechi and so I prayed the bus would stop next to it and in the end? it stopped right at the station. This was one case where not panicking and just keeping on walking, following those that knew better, really paid off. Although it was slightly terrifying winging it like that. But there really is little to no information about getting to the park on the Internet! And what info I had found related to a totally different entrance than the one I had found myself in. In fact, I don’t this entrance was even on the map from the Internet! So winging it was all I could do.

And even though going to the national park took up a large chunk of my holiday, and even though there were moments I was embarrassed, I felt slightly panicked because I was lost or thisclose to falling it was so worth it. I was tired, I was muddy, my leg was aching most likely from stepping to hard on it whilst falling or climbing, but damn if I hadn’t done it. If I hadn’t walked for hours up a peak, then through a rocky, ice filled woodland… it was one of the most challenging walks I have done and after doing it? I feel prepared for anything. I felt exhilarated. On the bus journey I thought about all the places I still needed to go in Malaysia to get some walking done, and I also vowed to visit the peak district more often when I got back to the UK. Because walking? walking is a sport I can do. its something that I can enjoy. I want to become like those Koreans who can walk up vertical rock faces as if it is nothing. Gosh, I felt empowered. like I could take on anything, All adrenaline, of course, which wore off as soon as I got on the train.

The train journey back into Seoul felt even longer than the one going out. I kind of…napped. What, foreigners can nap on public transport too. I used to doze all the time when I was commuting.So I napped, and waited, I changed lines and then I was at the COEX mall. COEX is a confusing place but eventually I stumbled upon lotte duty free, and I couldn’t resist a look round…but it was nothing exciting. Then I realized I was really hungry and I decided to forgo the western and go to a Korean looking place! I know! Before coming to Malaysia I would never have the courage to walk into a Korean restaurant in Korea by myself, but I’ve changed since moving abroad. Yes, being a foreigner and having that cultural ignorance can be embarrassing but you know what? who cares! Well, let’s be honest here, it’s more that I’ve embarrassed myself so much being the ignorant foreigner over the past few months that I’ve reached the point where I just don’t care anymore! XD And in the end? The waiter spoke perfect English LOL So much for my courage. I ordered a pork cutlet with rice and it came…layered in vegetables and a spicy sauce, served with miso soup, and a helping of kimchi, dukbokki and that white radish thing with some kind of marinade. the radish thing was ok, the miso soup was miso soup but the kimchi and dukkboki were way too spicy for me! I could barely handled my tentative mouthful. Korean food really is too much for me! XD

After that I went to the aquarium. It was a nice, small one and they had a really cool section- and this was the reason I wanted to go there- where they were keeping the fish in unique tanks- old phone boxes, sinks, a tank behind a bed. One fish tank even had little sensors in it so when a fish swam past a certain place it would make a music note sound. I stared at that one for while, fascinated, and feeling very much like a Typical Engineer. After COEX I went to Myeongdong one last time to pick up a couple of gifts for my sister…then got lured into a couple of other stores… then it was back to the hotel. After too little sleep I had to check out, then I had to run across a busy road and chase after the bus in the pouring rain cos I was late…thankfully it stopped. I cannot bear to think what would have happened if I missed it! I sat on the bus and stared out the window, taking in the last sights of the city and eventually, Incheon. Then it was back to Malaysia and the daily grind.

It was a very short, very hectic but very amazing trip. A perfect little break from daily life. Korea is somewhere I’ve always wanted to go but I’ve never wanted to spend the full £900+ on a plane ticket to get there, so this little trip was more than enough. I do think I’d like to go back sometime- but as a stopover, maybe before I got to Japan this summer.

This also marks my first attempt at blogging about a trip I went on and hmm..I failed a little didn’t I? Oh well. I have two more trips to practice with!