You know how I said I wouldn’t ever go to anime club?
Well, I went.
I figured I should try it out and see how it went. You know, crawl out of my shell and stop avoiding life. I was also really worried about my maths work and wanted to get some studying done. Thus a plan was born- go into Liverpool, go to library and work for a bit, then go to the anime club. I could work on maths at home, but not really. Currently the program we use for maths can only be accessed on the university network. So I went in Thursday evening and did an hour and a half of work. I then headed across town, grabbed a quick bite to eat at Tesco (I am the person who queues for 10 minutes to pay for one 70p pastry) and then went to the anime meeting. It was very weird. I have been into anime/manga/everything for about 5 years but not once have I watched it with someone else. I went to watch Ponyo in the cinema…but I went alone. And I also watch my anime/whatever using headphones so it’s weird hearing it…without headphones. It was just very weird sitting in a room full of people watching anime. A room full of people who LIKE anime. A room full of people who talk about this kind of stuff, I presume, on a regular basis. I have never really talked about this stuff to anyone. It was also weird watching anime all the way through. I usually skip the opening/ending and I’ll pause every few minutes to go check my mail or do something else. I can never focus for long enough to watch something the whole way through!
They showed two episodes of two different series and there were breaks before and after. When I first got there I had to wait around as they set up and I talked to this one girl and it was very awkward. There were many of those long uncomfortable pauses as we pondered what to say to each other and failed to come up with anything. She asked me what I liked and I said I don’t watch much anime, more manga and then she asked me for favourite manga titles and I couldn’t, couldn’t tell her anything (really- idk what my favourites are and I know anything I could mention would be BL and no way am I admitting to reading that) so I fumbled over the question and probably came across as rude. It was awful. There was another break after the first showing of…something (dura dura I think? I couldn’t really see the screen. Some guys head totally obscured the subtitles so idk) and I just kind of sat alone and waited. Oh, awkwardness. I couldn’t bring myself to go talk to anyone. They were all already in groups of friends T_T The first anime shown was OK but the other one was some lame mecha. Oh man I had to sit through 30 mins of mecha. Ugh. I didn’t enjoy the experience and I also failed to make any friends. Won’t be going back/putting myself through that again.
It would have been nice after putting myself out there good things happen, but maybe I didn’t put enough effort in or maybe I just really suck at socialising and should just give up already. It’s too hard.
Also after the anime club I went to this pizza place for a very late supper (like 9:00pm by then) and it was empty apart from me and the guy making the pizza. The guy tried to strike up conversation with me and I just froze up. Only afterwards did I think of all the things that I should have asked and said. So typical of me. I felt quite pathetic after that little venture out, sitting all alone at the train station eating pizza and waiting for my train. I wanted to go home so badly. Although the train was nice and quiet and I could just chill out and read which was rather nice. I actually quite like the commute. I get a alot of reading done and I can go over lecture notes if I so wish.
Other than having no friends university is going OK. I am in on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. At the moment the work is relatively easy though I find my labs difficult already. Well not difficult, just confusing? Basically I suck at practical work. I didn’t manage to complete my first set of lab work, which is worrying as I’d guess it is the easiest one D: It was so difficult to concentrate in that lab session as it was like 2 hours? My first lecture was also difficult to concentrate in as it was about 1.5 hours long. I also admit to having to think way too much about the basic maths and science stuff I’m being taught atm and have come to the conclusion that GCSE and A levels has taught me NOTHING. Then again I have always sucked at basic maths. I had to slave to get through my C1 paper- which is the A level non-calculator paper. I was worried about lagging behind maths but I got through quite a few modules last week from ventures to the library. Next week I will also be good and I will go to the library mon/tues/wed after lectures/labs so I won’t have to go in on Thursday like this week and thus also have a valid excuse to avoid anime club (I’m not in the city! :D) I figure even if the maths is quite basic now I should take this opportunity to get into good habits so when it does get hard I’ll be prepared.
Also I think I have gotten used to Liverpool itself. Not enough that I know any shortcuts (I have a feeling I am taking the long way round for everything at the moment) but I know where everything I need to know is at least. I am currently spending a little too much money, which worries me. I spend about £3 or more on food a day. And I like to spend the commute time reading, so I’m spending a ridiculous amount on books too. Thankfully I haven’t gone shopping again, because armed with as much money as I have now (student loan!) I will have no willpower to stop myself from splurging. Mainly though PLEASE STOP ME FROM SPENDING ALL MY MONEY ON FOOD. It’s getting ridiculous.