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Budapest Day 1 and 2 (Part 2)

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Pictures, from top to bottom, right to left: St. Stephen’s Basilica at Night, Inside St. Stephen’s Basilica, Night views of the Danube, Hungarian Parliament Building at Night

After a long rest our little group split up to complete the day. My sister’s friend had come off working night shifts, so she was very tired and wanted to stay in to rest. My sister and I still wanted to explore, and to give her some space. So we headed out alone to go to St. Stephen’s Basilica again in the late afternoon. We had heard that there was going to be organ practice at 5pm, and were both keen to hear it as we would not be in Budapest for the next official organ concert there. Unfortunately there turned out to be no organ practice. It was still an incredibly beautiful and atmospheric place. Afterwards we went back to the apartment for supper. My sister and I sat down to plan afterwards but ended up bickering, which was not too much fun, although I mostly feel sorry for my sister’s friend having to put up with us. She also has a little sister though, so I’m sure she understands how it goes.

That evening my sister and I ventured out to take a walk along the Danube river. (My sisters friend was still too exhausted to come with.) It was a little late, at around 8pm, but it seemed safe enough. We walked across the chain bridge and stepped on to the Buda side for first time and got unreasonably excited about that. We walked back along the bridge then followed the river until we reached the parliament building again. There was not a single fence between river and land, and there were plenty of places where you could walk down steps right down into the water. This, coming from health and safety obsessed UK, was a little surprising. It was extremely cold near the river but very pretty – all the main sites were lit up. We both took millions of pictures. I’m not sure how well my pictures came out, as it’s my first time having a camera able to handle night photography. I played around a lot with the settings to at least try to capture it. It was nothing like I’d ever seen before, having only visited Europe once before, and too long ago to have clear memories. I became quite enamoured with the grand, fairytale architecture all lit up just so. I could begin to understand the romance of Europe for travellers.

Budapest Day 1 and 2 (Part 1)

St. Stephen's BasilicaSt. Stephen's BasilicaSt. Stephen's BasilicaSt. Stephen's BasilicaLiberty SquareHungarian Parliament BuildingTourist center at Hungarian Parliament BuildingHungarian Parliament BuildingHungarian Parliament BuildingViews of the DanubeViews of the DanubeShoes of the DanubeInside the Hungarian Parliament BuildingInside the Hungarian Parliament BuildingInside the Hungarian Parliament BuildingInside the Hungarian Parliament BuildingInside the Hungarian Parliament Building15

Pictures, from top to bottom, right to left: St. Stephen’s Basilica, Liberty Square, Hungarian Parliament Building, Views of the Danube, Shoes of the Danube, Inside the Hungarian Parliament Building, Food

My sister, my sister’s friend and myself got into Budapest on Sunday afternoon, however we were all tired enough that our first day in Budapest was spent mostly in the apartment. My sister and I wanted to go see a particular opera show, but we had gotten into the city too late and thus missed it. We ended up just having a little walk around the local area around our hotel that evening, and ended up stumbling upon St Stephens Basilica. Actually, the Basilica could be seen from our hotel room it was that close to us, but we didn’t realise at first. Nor did we appreciate how huge it was. We were quite taken aback by our first sighting.

We started our day early on Monday, planning to meander our way to the Hungarian Parliament building, going past St Stephens basilica again to see it in the daytime and then through Liberty Square. St Stephens Basilica was just as impressive in the day time. Liberty Square was a simple park, but the buildings around it were amazing. We were especially taken with the gothic look of the grey building that clearly had not been cleaned in many years. Honestly, there are so many fascinating buildings in Budapest though. Parliament itself was incredible. Much like the Basilica, it was hard to believe what you were seeing. We went to the tourist centre to book our tour, then with time to spare until it we went for a little walk along Danube to see the shoes of Danube. It was very cold next to the river, but sunny. The views were amazing – on one side, the Parliament building, and on the other side we could see the Buda Palace, Matthias Church and the Fishermen’s Bastion. Our progress towards the shoes was slow as we took picture after picture.

We reached the shoes, took a few more pictures then walked back to the area next to Parliament and found a cute pub to try Hungarian food for the first time. I tried paprika chicken with Hungarian dumplings. It was quite heavy, definitely broke my no-dairy diet, but was very tasty. Unfortunately it took ages to get our food, so we had to rush back to Parliament to make the tour. We just made it. The tour was interesting but a bit rushed and tense, as we were part of a large group and there was lots of security keeping you moving and consequently, it was impossible to really define your own space and hard to take anything in. At the end of the tour there was also a small exhibition on the background of the museum which was very interesting and actually, the part I enjoyed most as it was nice to take a breather from the crowds and the exhibit itself was very informative. It was fascinating to see how long it took to construct the Parliament Building and how sophisticated it was for its time. The central heating/air conditioning system was particularly notable for the time. For the air conditioning, air was cooled using water and then vents in the building would let the cold air inside to the cool the building. Similarly they had radiators which were warmed using steam heated from a furnace, which was placed away from the building to protect the buildings architecture. Sadly, the designer did not live to see its completion. We then wanted to see museum of Hungarian legislation which was part of the tourist centre, but had to queue ages to enter. We were thus quite tired by the time we finally managed to get in and the audio guide was confusing so I didn’t really take much in. It was reasonably interesting- as I was not familiar with this part of the world or its history- but the Hungarian National Museum we would see later would prove much more cohesive.

Afterwards we headed back to our apartment, to rest for a bit and eat some rather delicious cake we picked up at a small bakery. I wish I knew what cake it was, as it was delicious (Though again, not eating dairy really wasn’t working out for me and only on day 2…)

Every little piece of you

goldenacre_mh1456794300175→ I had my second driving test yesterday. I did not pass. Again, my nerves got to me and I did things I would never have done in my lessons. Compounding it, the examiner this time was a mean, impatient man who seemed to be going out of his way to make me feel more uncomfortable, pressured and anxious. He kept interfering in my decisions, making me stressed out, leading me to stall or become jerky on the pedals as I crumbled under the pressure of his persistent interference. It was possibly worse than the last test, and definitely more frustrating. I can drive. I’m fine during lessons. I just get so nervous and freaked out under test conditions. All I need to be able to do is drive to work or to the doctor and I can do both, independently and safely, but because I can’t pass my test…I can’t. I’m going to have to wait until June for my next test, and pay out even more money for lessons to keep practising. I hate how much money and time I’m investing in something I can do.

→ I started counselling again three weeks ago. Thus far it’s uncomfortable and upsetting, and I am of course not enjoying challenging my thought processes and lifestyle this way. I gotta do it though. I am hopeful that if I do everything will change.

this is an amazing read on coping with work whilst depressed (which can apply to many disorders I think) and this is an equally amazing read on preventing lack of confidence affecting work performance. Six months on I’m still struggling to get used to work. Reading these though I would like to think I’m mostly checking the most important boxes- presenting myself well and trying to present enthusiasm. The only thing I can’t do is get to work on time, let alone early. I still can’t wake up in the mornings, or worse, I wake up but then feel too scared and anxious and tired to leave the house. Too much money is going to taxis so I can at least scrape in around the end of the morning standard hours. I have no energy or motivation. I am so very tired. It’s no good. No good at all. I am late to doctors and counselling appointments too. And my lack of a sleeping pattern- always taking long to get to sleep, waking up in the small hours and falling asleep again before my alarm goes off too soon, then crashing on the weekends and sleeping for over a whole day – means my head feels constantly fuzzy and my tension headaches never really go away. I’m too tense, sleeping too badly, relying too much on sugar to wake me up and get me through my eight hours. It’s pretty miserable.

→ my sister came to visit me a couple of weeks ago. It was lots of fun. We spent a relaxed weekend mostly at home doing very little and talking lots. It was great.

→ I went to a yoga class! I felt a bit self conscious but it was lots of fun. Unfortunately the centre is in a bit of inconvenient location so I am not sure I’ll go again…

→ I’m going on holiday! Tomorrow I’m on a plane to Budapest, Hungary. I hope it will be fun. I’m a bit nervous. I’m also very excited.

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My fish are still alive! Its been a challenge, as I came to realise I was woefully unprepared for this task and the pressure was on not to mess up regardless, with six tiny lives on the line. I have grown aware of the biological filter that exists in the tank, indeed everywhere. (Basically, the nitrogen cycle.) And that made me realise why a large tank was so much better. I decided to work with what I got though, still without funds to invest in a bigger tank at this moment, and set about learning how to make my fish tank a wonderful, clean place to live regardless.

First step: I  quickly got hold of a water testing kit. I then started doing small water changes every day, at which point I’d test what had come out the tank and record it. At the end of the week I’d log the values into a spreadsheet, and these then got transfered to a graph. I could make sure no values were at dangerous levels. And I could  compare this graph to one I have of the initial fish tank cycle and see how things were progressing.

Look, I’m an engineer. There had to be a spreadsheet and graphs.

I struggled, well I’m still struggling with the chemistry of all this but my sister is handily a chemist. During the first week of testing I sent my results to her to get them checked and she emailed me lots of tips. This weekend she came round to see me and she showed me how to properly prepare my test tubes for testing, carry out the test and interpret the results. It was fascinating watching my sister. This is a side of her I rarely see- serious and clever. I know my sister is those things, but around me she is, obviously, less formal. I couldn’t help but admire her. Chemistry is a foreign language that I’ve never understood even a single word of, but my sister is fluent.

These are my latest readings in the photo. Ammonia, nitrites and nitrates are all low. Finally. For a while, everything was pretty high, although not dangerously so (thankfully.) I’ve been using a mixture of boiled water and filtered water and it seems to be working. This week I’m decreasing the frequency of water changes and water testing, and the week after I want to repeat that but with more food.

Having fish is complicated and requires a surprising amount of effort. They are still adorable though. And it’s been fun investigating all this. Again, I’m an engineer. Problem solving and investigation are things I thrive on. I’m itching to develop my spreadsheet and watch my graph grow…obviously, I’m also pretty keen for my fish to stay alive and well too!

Minnows

Yesterday I overslept and took a taxi into work. The taxi driver was chatty and when he mentioned he had a four foot aquarium at home I became chatty too. The entire taxi ride we talked fish and fish care. By the time I got to work, I no longer cared I was tired, not feeling well, and hopelessly late. I let the taxi driver show me videos of his aquarium and walked slowly the last few steps into work, dreaming about having something like that.

I’ve always wanted fish, but have always been put off with the cost of the equipment, and how finicky it can be to look after them. Enough, I said to myself then. Said to myself today. You never know until you try. I went to the pet shop, and brought home five White Cloud Mountain Minnows. Spent a long time after I’d got them settled into their new home just watching them, captivated and amazed. They are adorable and a little silly…there’s just something a little silly about fish, isn’t there? I felt myself falling a little in love, even though I couldn’t tell them apart, or even which was male or female. My tank is too small technically, so I will have to save up for a bigger tank to move them to once they start to grow but for now my challenge is to keep these five, incredibly small and delicate creatures alive.

They are apparently quite hardy, suitable for low temperatures, forgiving of mistakes in water quality, and they won’t eat my marimo. I hope all these things are true.

Fingers crossed I wake up tomorow morning and still have five fish.