Welcome! Honest Lies is the personal site of a 26 year old graduate electrical engineer living in the UK. Covering every day life, books and various other randomness. Read more about me and the site here.

This is so unusual

I haven’t been posting much lately, have I? I admit sometimes I find it difficult to blog. I’ll have so much to say but somehow I can’t quite put it into words. And I’ll admit there’s not much happening at the moment. I am almost finished with my foundation year. I’m not entirely sure what happened to all that time but there you go. Just got three exams and one assignment to go. Fingers crossed I do well. Not that I’m spending nearly enough time revising, yet. (I want to add a hopeful ‘yet’ to that statement. I will revise, eventually…) At the moment I’m spending the majority of my time lazing around marathoning every Japanese detective drama I can find (I seem to have become addictive to detective/mystery/crime type dramas. It’s becoming a rather serious problem…In one week I’ve gotten through three separate dramas D: (Which are BOSS, Control and Galileo for anyone interested and all three were awesome and totally worth seeing, yes.))

I did go into university on Monday to do work and I also went into Liverpool on Tuesday to meet up with my sister and show her around. We went to the world museum and amused the staff there with our childish antics (no really, I totally caught one of the staff smiling watching as me and my sister play fought over something stupid. I think she said I wasn’t old enough to go see the planetarium show for 7 years and over and so I hit her (lightly!)…and it went from there…) Me and my sister both like going to museums, so we trailed around with genuine excitement and interest- even trying out some of the interactive displays with childish enthusiasm (but I’d like to add uni student intelligence and determinism).  It was so much fun! After that I showed her my university (Which was pretty much her: It’s just a building. me: yes, what were you expecting?) and then the library (her: it’s just… another building. me: yes. What were you expecting?) before walking down to the docks (see: Albert dock) where we somehow found ourselves at a pub sitting outside drinking ice cold drinks in the freezing winds. The weather is pretty nice right now in the UK, but still a bit temperamental and there are cold days. Tuesday was one of them. It was warm but there were strong, cold winds (especially near the mersey, for obvious reasons). Anyway. After that cold, rather foolish experience we went shopping for a bit and then parted ways. It was a very fun day. I love spending time with my sister. It’s just so easy to be around her. I was saying that to her actually. How she is one of very few people I actually speak to. Most people I struggle to even form coherent sentences around, even my own mother and father sometimes. I appreciate being able to spend a few hours feeling comfortable in my own skin.

On that note I actually met up with some of my old friends on Thursday and man, it was awful. The polar opposite of how awesome Tuesday was. They were talking about things that happened that happened in high school and high school friends and I’m sorry but am I supposed to care about all that? I didn’t have anything to talk about because I don’t care about high school, I don’t keep up with current TV or movies (I don’t have money or opportunities to go the cinema) and I don’t have much happening in my life (I’m either studying or spending hours procrastinating from studying…). I was just sitting there wishing I could teleport myself out of there. I was thankful when that was over. As horrible as it is I’ve changed, outgrown those people. Outgrown highschool and everything that happened there, all those people there. I just don’t care. I was kind of looking forward to catching up with people now but not anymore. I’d much rather be alone watching my dramas, thank you very much.

  • Listening To: Namie Amuro ft Yamashita Tomohisa - Unusual
  • mood: relaxed

A no-poo update

I’d just like to announce that soon I would have not used shampoo for like two months! I think that is something worth blogging about. or rather I promised myself I’d keep a little log of this experiment so if i do give it up I’d have a record for my future self, that if I ever feel like going no poo again I’ll know why I gave it up the first time and what worked the first time. (actually its my second time but i have no recollection of the first time because i never wrote anything down and my brain is incapable of remembering things itself)

My hair is looking OK. Not great. It feels and looks thick and has volume and curl it never had before when I used shampoo. My scalp also feels happier than it ever did, even with all natural shampoo, and my dandruff has lessened and that which remains is finer. However I am optimistic for month three because I’m wondering if that is when my hair will finally start looking good. I’m not expecting it to look as it did when I used shampoo but I’d quite like not to look like well, that I haven’t washed it in two months (even writing that makes me feel a bit dirty. there’s this culture surrounding shampoo. It’s just something you do, especially as a girl, and no one is supposed to question it.) OK, so my hair doesn’t look that bad. But my bangs are constantly a greasy mess and there are days my hair looks just as bad. I worked up courage and wore my hair down twice last week and although I felt self conscience it also felt good. It didn’t look so bad. I wore a dark green coat and there were barely any of that unsightly white dusting at all which was a real confidence booster. I did notice that my hair got greasier sooner when I  wore it down, as in it was really greasy the day after that I just had to wash it which was disappointing. I want to be able to wear my hair down without it becoming like that.

As for my routine I usually wash it with water then use ordinary conditioner or the nuance airy hair mask on the ends of my hair like I would if I shampooed it. Also every now and then I’ll also use an oat and honey hair mask on all my hair as a conditioner (compared to just the ends) and to give my scalp a little moisture and just because it feels so good (and smells amazing). I basically strain some oats, add in a tablespoon of manuka honey and a drop or two of ylang ylang essential oil. Works like a charm. My hair feels soft, looks shiny and not too greasy and smells like ylang ylang, which is basically the most gorgeous floral scent ever. It doesn’t irritate my scalp either! I keep meaning to rotate to lavender and rosemary EOs but I enjoy the scent of ylang ylang too much. I don’t use oatmeal after every wash as its too much trouble to strain the oats and mix it up twice a week ,every week. I am lazy like that. And as much as I like the idea of going all natural with my hair I like my conditioner and hair treatments. As long as they aren’t going anywhere near my scalp there is no problem for me. My hair is in good condition all in all, just a bit disgustingly greasy at times.

I think I’ve become very used to not using shampoo. Of course there are days where I really just want to slap on some shampoo, and rinse instead of spending ages carefully scrubbing my head, running my hands through my hair, turning  my hair upside down and scrubbing some more, running my hands through my hair some more, turning the heat of the water down and scrubbing some more, running my hands through my hair some more. I can cope though and I do find it quite relaxing. All the scrubbing feels amazing on my scalp especially.

I’m really curious as to what my hair will look like after three months. If maybe my bangs will finally look like they are supposed to (I even give them an extra rinse between washes and still, still even though the ends look fine the root of the hair looks so greasy!). I’m also curious about how my scalp will be after a prolonged period of not washing. I’m still hopeful about this. Bring on month three!

  • Listening To: Leah Dizon - Koi Shiyou ~yasutaka nakata mix~
  • mood: relaxed

ONE ROOM DISCO

Today was good. Like there are days which start great and trip up somewhere along the way and end up stumbling along endlessly. Then there are days which start off a bit iffy, become quite good then fall flat on their face and severely hurt themselves and suddenly all you want to do is curl up in bed and hide. Something like that. I must be in the mood for strange metaphors. Anyway. Talking about days which fall flat would be last Friday. I had a maths test which I was petrified about, as maths tends to spark that reaction in me. It’s like I can do it but only certain questions. I don’t learn the maths, I learn how to answer the questions. I crunch numbers with very little understanding of why. (woot, future engineer here. Aren’t I great?) Thus if a question comes up that I have not memorized the exact method for I am doomed. Clearly there must be something in this method as I’ve passed every maths test so far, and I miraculously passed that one too. After passing it I of course felt all proud of myself and energetic and so I went home looking forward to just chilling and relaxing and I naively assumed the day would continue to be awesome. Clearly I was setting myself up for something terrible to come along and surprise me.

I ended up bumping into some high school acquaintances on the train. Recall: I was an outsider in high school. I had no presence, I was shy and awkward and slightly weird. I was on the outside of the outsider group. These girls where part of the popular group, the ones that got noticed. As I caught sight of them I had a moment of panic and I looked away, thinking they wouldn’t recognise me, they wouldn’t see me…they saw me. Commence awkward non conversation which soon fizzled out and we went to politely ignoring each other. It was awkward, sitting there across from them wishing the train would hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, knowing it wouldn’t. Some of the worst 10 minutes of my life right there.  Also- why the day when I looked awful? I had literally thrown on the baggiest jersey I own and a pair of jeans, I had a massive spot forming on my face… I was tired and my hair needed washing. You always hope that when you eventually bump into those kind of high school acquaintances, the popular pretty confident ones, that you’ll be dazzle them somehow- something, I don’t even know what, would be different and would make them stop and go, wow she’s changed in the really good way. Alas life has a way of going HAHA AS IF, bitch. Fuck it.

Fast forward. This week was rather mundane, ordinary. I bought a perfect pair of shoes on Monday! £8 and wide fit. Hell yeah. This brings the amount of shoes to a grand total of around 7 and making my new shoes the first brown shoes I own. (I love the idea of owning loads of shoes but shopping for them is usually quite painful.) But that was the only thing that could possibly stand out from these past few days. Whoever said the life of a student was exciting clearly had never been one.

And so. Today. Yes, this post might have some kind of point (I don’t even know. I’m just meandering all over the place here. Take a drink for every time I say “Anyway”, “I don’t (even know)”…might make reading this a whole lot more interesting… )

Today I finished up my Engineering Solutions module- aka the let’s build a model car! module. We had actually built the car and thus we just needed to do a presentation on it and then demonstrate it today. I was part scared part whatever I don’t even care anymore. Also slightly unnerving was the amount of good lucks I got from people. One or two is like “aww that’s sweet”. 4 or 5 is more like “OK do you people view me as the black hole of the group? Do I have some kind of permanent deer in headlights look on my face? WHAT IS IT”  I actually managed to not stutter and to speak reasonably clearly and say non-stupid relevant things aka I totally aced it, sorta, I think I did. My teammates also did good . I think we did quite well! Though the teammate I hate forgot about me when he did his section. He said that two of our group mates built the car and the other two did the electronics. WHAT ABOUT ME? Way to completly underestimate the fact that I had actually bothered to come to every session, unlike him, and actually did my bit thank you very much. I almost let the shock show on my face but managed to control it. Really I wanted to hit him. He made excuses later that he was thinking something else. Yeah, right. Gosh I’m so glad not to be working with this guy anymore. He treats me like I am thissmall and makes jokes that really aren’t funny, the type of jokes that are basically masquerading as joke so he can say horrible things. Ugh. After the presentation we demonstrated our car and lol our car was so slow and ugly compared to other and it wouldn’t stop- it hit the wall D: After that all the groups banded together and we raced all the cars in the hallway. Safe to say ours didn’t get very far. It was slower than slow. D:  All in all a reasonably fun end to a mundane module.

Next week is the last week before we break up. That is all kinds of scary. In a few months I will be in first year D:  I currently have two course works I’ve been putting off because they’re in for April 1st and I kept thinking that is ages away and I’ve got plenty of time but you know….very close now! D:

Anyway.  Now I shall go exfoliate my face with delicious berry scented stuff and stick a face mask on, because I am in that kinda mood. Then I shall eat some fruit so I can feel healthy, like I’m taking care of myself (read: like those two creme eggs I ate earlier are no longer relevant).

  • Listening To: PERFUME - ONE ROOM DISCO
  • mood: relaxed


Hamasaki Ayumi, WHATEVER (live) –  I don’t think is one of her best performances but at the same time there is no such thing as a bad Ayu performance. Ayu live is an amazing thing. Her performances can be very overdone but in a fascinating way, and she has a very powerful stage presence. I’ve spent a lot of time today feeling slightly nostalgic as I marathon many Ayu’s performances of all my favourite songs, songs I admitedly haven’t listened to in a while. I’m currently going crazy for one university to reply to me and tell me whether or not I got in (as I’d very much like to go there, you know) , so it was quite nice just to sit back and feel comforted by such familiar music. Even some of these performances I’ve been repeating for years now. I’ve been listening to Japanese music for so long now, and Ayu especially. These days I don’t pay much attention to the current Jpop scene and I don’t listen to any of Ayu’s new stuff but I have my old favourites that I still listen to whether daily or just occasionally. I have a fondness for Ayu’s early albums, loveAPPEARS in particular. Her voice was so different then and LoveAPPEARS was an album like Ayu would never do again. Ok so the strong Europop and trance were something she would do again, sure, but not like here and not when her voice was like this. There is something amazing about this album- from the bold covers, to the music which is incredibly mature and emotional- bitter, uncertain and hopeful all at once- for an album of fairly upbeat, catchy dance music. WHATEVER is one of my favourites from the album, hence why I am posting this. “It’s been long. Just a little more. It seemed like it’d freeze so I closed my eyes…”

turn the lights on, turn the lights off


This weekend I went to visit my sister in Leeds as it was her birthday on Thursday. We set off late but managed to get to her house quickly. She opened her presents and thankfully she loved the Pokemon Monopoly set I’d bought her. Yes, I bought my 22 year old sister Pokemon Monopoly. Children born around the nineties- remember how in the early 2000’s those Pokemon cards were all the rage? We’d collect and swap them and play with them all the time and we’d always be trying to get the biggest collection and the best cards. My sister had a massive collection of those and she loved Pokemon a lot, though I don’t recall her ever actually watching it! Even so seeing the board she could name some of the characters and she got really excited. I also baked her 30 Romany Creams which I think she loved too. I felt proud of myself, because I usually suck at presents. There is at least one person in this world who I can buy decent things for, thankfully.

Next we headed into town. We went to the theatre to see the ballet Cleopatra. You’d think by now after being to all the theatre so many times I’d know how to dress for these things, but I regretted not dressing up just a tiny bit more. I was corrected in wearing the smartest coat I own, fine in wearing  flats, but wrong in wearing jeans instead of tights under the long pink top/mini-dress I had on. I admit I look at my sister and she is so beautiful and fashionable and confident in herself that I cannot help but feel a tiny bit jealous sometimes. The ballet itself was confusing, and I wish I’d bought the programme before seeing it and not after so I could have some clue of the story. The entire time I was sat there thinking “WHO? WHAT? WHY?”. On saying that it was visually and musically gorgeous, very modern, and also very sensual…which I wasn’t really expecting. Though, to be honest I’m not sure what I was expecting. It was good though and it didn’t drag on forever and forever. The interval was about an hour in, and my sisters boyfriend bought us ice cream to eat. We chatted and my sister tried to explain what was going on, but me and her boy friend remained confused. After it had finished, and we’d gotten through the endless amount of clapping as the dancers bowed again and again, and we’d managed to worm our way out through the crowds, I bought a programme. As we all stood outside trying to decide where to go/what to do I read through the story, wondering how the hell we were supposed to know all of it from the ballet. On saying that out of the three ballets I have seen only one that has made sense to me as I watched it :/

There were limited options for what to do then as most tourist attractions closed so we trailed through town to waste some time before dinner reservations. Like most cities Leeds is not a good place on a Saturday night, as my sister and her bf admitted. All the immature students come out to be idiots. We got to the restaurant and the place was loud and packed with people but the food was decent. We also got a free bottle of sparkling wine. It was gross and made me sleepy. I do not like alcohol, still. Desert was an uncomfortable affair as the brownie I ordered was so sickly that even my sister couldn’t eat it. And my sister can usually eat anything, any quantity. I felt over stuffed and sleepy afterwards. We went back to my sisters and my parents headed off to their hotel. My sister and I put on our pajamas and lay down on her bed to watch TV for a few hours before switching the lights off.  We lay side by side in the dark and talked idly about university and such things, both of us sleepy but unable to fall asleep.

Sunday I woke up to my sister snoring and before I could get back to sleep the alarm went off. Got ready and the parents came to pick us up and together we headed to Bradford to the National Media museum (The above pic was taken from inside the museum). We saw a film at the Imax theatre about the Tuna Run in South Africa which was spectacular, and less nauseating than the deep sea film I last saw at the IMAX in London. Afterwards we looked around the museum. My sister was over excited and hyped up in that childish way that she’ll probably never lose, because she can still act that way even at 22. She looked around at everything, played with all the hands-on things, took thousands of pictures, and dragged her boyfriend around with her the entire time. I spent a lot of time sat on benches waiting for my family to catch up with me who had already seen all she wanted to see, trying to be patient as it was after all my sisters weekend and thus it was only right to go with her schedule. I was actually quite happy quietly sitting there, was happy knowing my sister was enjoying herself.  Admitedly was a little bored but I don’t mind doing nothing and I’m fine entertaining myself whether with my thoughts or some music or just playing on my phone. My mother came and sat down next to me multiple times and she’d break the silence with inane chatter, talk for the sake of talking and I hate that. There is nothing wrong with silence, with waiting quietly and patiently. My mother is childlike in her need for constant attention and her seeming inability just to sit still and wait. I admit I hated my moms presence that day. I’d rather sit silently by myself than suffer through some of the ridiculous conversations my mother tries to start just for the sake of talking.

We ate lunch at the museum then went to ASDA to buy my sister groceries, before going back to hers. We gathered our stuff and left soon after getting back to hers and went home.

I don’t know why but it was a bit of a shock going into university today, like that feeling you get after the holidays. Staying somewhere else makes you feel a little out of it. Today turned out to be awesome though. I left ridiculously late this morning and managed to make my train with time to spare, my first lecture ended early so I could go to Primark to buy a couple of things, my second lecture started late and finished early so I could get an early train home. And my tutorial tomorrow is cancelled so technically I don’t have to go into university, although I will go in the afternoon to do maths in the library. This week should be awesome, seeing so I have no deadlines and barely any set classes. :D

  • Listening To: Namie Amuro ft. After School - MAKE IT HAPPEN
  • mood: Relaxed

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