If not now

I’m finding it difficult to sleep lately. I’ve been staying up into the small hours of the morning, afraid of my own thoughts and those horrible hours lying awake with only these thoughts to accompany me. The darkness and the quiet is stifling and I always find my mind going to strange places, thinking about everything from the books I have been reading, to making up random stories, to remembering I forgot to take the trash out earlier. The night before last I went to bed at 3am and lay awake for hours, tossing and turning and unable to become comfortable, unable to switch my mind of. Eventually I lay there, sprawled out on my back, watching the glow of the morning light seeping out from the edges of my curtains, feeling like giving up on sleeping entirely, throwing  the blankets off and getting up. It was then my thoughts drifted to my memories. I remembered being in Vic Falls in Zimbabwe, and waking up 6am to go walk alongside the Zambezi river with my sister and watch the sun rise there. I remembered how surreal it all was, the enormity of the place, the mist that clung to everything, how beautiful it was. I remembered strolling to the edge whilst keeping back for fear of crocodiles, peering out into the river and wondering what was there, watching me, that I could not see. I remember the heat and the noises of well, Africa. The hum of many insects and more. I remembered sitting down to breakfast with my sister and us being the only ones there, making stupid jokes and laughing too loudly, too much, attracting odd glances from the staff there. It did not matter, in those early hours it was like it was just the two of us and the world belonged only to us.

When I find myself feeling sad, longing for home, longing for escape, my mind turns to my memories. It’s bittersweet.

I had another exam on Thursday. It didn’t go well. Worse than even the last two. I am even more disappointed in myself, and even more frustrated. Why does everything seem to be going wrong? Is this the moment where everything finally falls apart? After all, just how long can someone like me succeed.

Yesterday after lying awake all night I dragged myself out of bed at 8am, to clean up my room before heading to lectures. My dad came in the evening and took me out to supper. I almost got us lost but my dad patiently explained how to use my phones GPS, and the basic art of map reading, and basically took over and got us to the right place. I know, even after being here a year I am still hopelessly unfamiliar with this city. Its embarrassing for me because I know it shows how little I go out, how little I do with my life, and I can’t help but get anxious about my dad disapproving over it, becoming concerned about it. This place I had chosen was thankfully a nice place, not expensive, but nicer than the average student can afford, and so it wasn’t a problem that it was a Friday night in the city, when all the students come out to be as obnoxious as possible. I had been nervous about that too.

We went to eat Malay food, something both of us had never done, and we were both noticeably nervous about the whole affair. I was especially nervous, being the one who asked to go. Thankfully, it turned out to be good. The waitress was sweet, obviously malaysian, and obviously used to dealing with clueless patrons, and talked us through everything. My dad had these savoury pancakes for starters, followed by beef redang, and I had chicken satay followed by a chicken curry. The food was ridiculously delicious, although very hot and spicy, strong flavoured, the after taste lingering for hours afterwards. It was fun sitting there being able to complain to my dad about my exams and finally being able to confess my fears of failure to someone. I was strangely chatty, almost hyper, though and I wonder if I said too much. Even now I am afraid of telling my parents too much. There are things I prefer them not to know, and I wonder if sometimes I let those things slip out. I’m not exactly good at keeping my own secrets. Sometimes there are so many things I want to say, sometimes I just want to be listened to, and so I end up spilling things to all the wrong people.

Afterwards we went back to my room and my dad started taking some of my stuff, so that there won’t be as much to bring back when my sister comes to pick me up later. Then we sat and ate ice cream before he had to go. He’s going away on a business trip soon, so I won’t be seeing him for a while now. In the parking lot I waved him off as he was driving and he paused a moment to take my hand, briefly holding on, saying something stupid I can’t remember before letting go. I remember laughing, because those stupid things my dad say always make me laugh, because I can see him teasing me and the affection behind it. No matter how old I get I’ll always be his little girl, and I realised just how much I love my father and how grateful I am for him. I hope he knows that. Before he came I was feeling angry with him for many reasons, old hurts coming to the surface, childish emotions that I somehow can’t seem to shake off. But after seeing him again I feel even more childish for such thoughts, and I’m relieved I did not say anything hurtful to him. At the end of the day my father is just doing the best he can for our family. I know that. I understand. And I won’t let myself get angry over stupid things again.

Those few hours were a relief, a moment to lay my childish anger to rest once more, and many more away from the constant worry over exams. Now, I am back to being stressed and anxious. I have just this one exam to go now. Yet, I just can’t seem to bring myself to work for it.

I’m still longing for home, for escape.

I don’t want to be alone right now. The thought hits me suddenly. But the walls I built to keep people out were very effective.

before our dreams disappear

I was talking to my dad on the phone early and I was telling him about my schedule and he remarked “not long left now”. Which is…actually very true. I’ve been so caught up in stress of revision and procrastination from said revision that I’ve not really thought about it at all but lectures really did finish last week, and its just my four exams to go now. (Well, not “just” because they are HORRIBLE and I need to pass them quite badly, but you get what I mean.) Therefore, my second year at university is coming to a close, and my first year doing Electrical and Electronic Engineering. In just a matter of months I’ll be in my third year of university, and my second year of my course (Yes, that confuses me too. Do I call myself a second year? Or a first year?…A first year plus?) It still feels like yesterday that I was at school. But, in reality, that’s a long time past now. I have no ties to that place anymore. Sometimes I think of it, of course, but

I mostly think of how much I hated it. I remember what the teachers said to me, and how they treated me, and I become motivated from it though. I was took aside by my head of year and told to reconsider doing engineering, well look who’s doing engineering now! Petty, yes, but its satisfying to imagine how they’d react if they knew. Not that they’d ever know. I haven’t been back. Hell, I don’t even speak to any of my old ‘friends’ from school anymore, apart from two people. Instead of blossoming into a social butterfly whilst at university, I seem to have become even more introverted and anti-social.  I think I have grown into my personality though, just in my own way. I do think its easier being shy at university than it is at school though.  At school you have to be part of a group, but not at university. Its a much less diverse environment at school, in the obvious sense, and also in the sense that there is more pressure to conform. I’m glad I did not go back to school and repeat my A levels, and did the foundation year instead. The foundation year is also becoming just another piece of the past, but it was always supposed to be that way. It was really just a stepping stone, a brief stop before going to this university. I don’t miss it at all. When I think of it,  I think of how much I liked it though, and I remember that feeling- being full of hope and motivation, having confidence in what I was doing, being so determined to do well. All of it, in a way I don’t think I’ll ever be to quite the same level again. Today, I slept until 12, procrastinated, then spent my evening hanging out in the library attempting to study and not getting very much done at all. Its not enough. It doesn’t feel like enough.

Second year is going to be something else, if all goes to plan. I can’t wait for it to be sorted out so I can stop being so vague and talk about it here. I hope second year will be good, although its definitely gonna be tough (Hello, C++ and other such things I didn’t enjoy in their ‘basic’ forms this year, and am not looking to expanding on the next). I complained a lot this year, but wait for second year! Heh.

In the end, even if sometimes I get stressed out and swear I hate engineering, I am happy doing this degree. And I like my university, too. I was actually pretty keen on going to university in Scotland but I’m glad I didn’t. Lets not mention how I was rejected from the Scottish uni I badly wanted to go to and focus on how much more awesome my current uni is and how I’m glad that events took me here.  I would have never imagined I ended up here, of all universities, but I’m glad I came here. I think I could do four years here.

Hey, cheer up, cheer up, be brave. Show me your eyes and start running…This world is yours, it’s all yours.

It’s Friday, and you have no idea how glad I am for that. It’s been a long- too long– week. I packed up over the weekend and headed back to university on Sunday- moving into halls for the last time. My room is as its ever been, with its mould and the suspicious stains and a heater that doesn’t work.  After unpacking my stuff my dad took me out to dinner, and we had pizza followed by desert. I ate half my pizza and had the rest for take away, and similarly I ate half my desert and then slipped it into the cardboard box when the waiters weren’t around and made very sure not to disturb it. It was  nice to spend some time with my dad after an entire holiday competing with my sister and my mothers attention. It’s amusing, too, how similar I am to my dad. Everyone always tell me that I look like my dad, that I have this or that personality trait from my dad.  Sometimes I don’t see it, but sometimes there are moments when  I can’t help but notice it.  We were sitting there looking at the menus for a good five minutes, both of us so indecisive that we could neither of us decide whether we wanted a starter and a main course, or a main course and desert. Little things like this, that we  both stop and think about far too much. We are both indecisive, yes. Both of deep thinkers, very private and introverted, both of us engineers. If only I could have my dads ridiculously high level of  intelligence, too.

Anyway, On Monday lectures started again, bright and early at 9am and it was back to the same old same old once more. This week has been a busy one though, with deadlines and other such things.

On Wednesday I experienced my first ever interview. I don’t want to say for what. I was really nervous about it. I had some trouble finding something to wear, and when I sat down to prep for it the information on the net about interviews was overwhelming, and so I’m fairly sure I wasn’t prepared. I had no idea what they were going to ask. Tuesday night, from midnight to 1am I was sat there, edging closer to just putting my head in my hands and crying, as I realised the extent that I had no idea what I was doing. I felt overwhelmed and confused and totally out of my element. The next day I could barely focus in labs,  from a lovely combination of lack of sleep and nerves. I came back to my room to get changed and for last minute prep and found I was running late, but I made it on time. The interview went badly, no worse than I expected, but it remained a fact that I came out there knowing I had failed. I rambled, said too much, said too little, said the wrong things. I fidgeted too, but I only became aware of how much afterwards (it was awful looking back and realising all the things I could have said. Could have done. Could have made it better.) I had to go meet someone to to some work when all I wanted was to go back and wallow in my disappointment in myself. I was confident, and friendly, and I did manage to smile and speak clearly, I think.  If I fucked up, at least I did so confidently and with a smile. They have an option of giving us feedback on our interview, and I think once I get the reply I will email them, and ask them so I can prepare myself better in the future when it isn’t just for something like this, but an actual job, possibly my dream job.

Thursday also tested my nerves. I had my last RTS (real time systems) labs. We have to work in pairs to code a certain system. My partner has been nice, and I’m surprised at how well we ended up working together. There was a bit of awkwardness, but not too much. Of course neither of us are very good at C. He is far better than I, but between us we couldn’t get our system to work. To be fair my board had broken so yesterday was the first time for me to check my code, but nonetheless. We had a beautiful interactive menu system going on, but alas whatever option the user would chose got no more than a blank oscilloscope. And this Thursday was the final lab where they would sit down with us individually and talk about what we have done!  The demonstrator just gave me a perfect O_O look after I explained how it was supposed to work quite neatly to him and then ended with “But it doesn’t work and I don’t know why”. He looked through the code and said it looked like it should work, so I guess it was OK. I wasn’t too nervous about it, more standing outside waiting I got somewhat worried. I’m very glad now that RTS is now done with, and I don’t have to do programming until next year. Well, I should probably practice over the summer because I suck at it, but realistically I wonder if I will do that.

Today I just had the one lecture and then I came home and I have no idea what I’ve been doing all afternoon. Certainly not work. My lecture was cancelled too which has only contributed to my laziness. Tonight I may spend equally uselessly  because I just cannot be bothered with anything more. I’ve barely slept all week, and my diet is all over the place. Just not in a very good place, still. Even as I continue to try to stay positive, it gets increasingly hard.  Therefore to end this long moan, here is a list of five good things about this week:

– Lunch on Monday- left over pizza,  a muffin and I also treated myself to a caramel latte, all of which left me feeling cheerful for the rest of the day.

– My best friends constant support. Her regular text messages have really cheered me up. I’m so grateful to have such a good friend.

-Similarly, talking to my sister after my interview. I am also grateful for her support.

– Laughing with my RTS partner over our failed code. Our lecturer came over to which my partner said that our menu system was working just fine, and I added on, slightly under my breath but meant to be heard, “but nothing else.” The lecturer just smiled, in a way one could tell it wasn’t his first time hearing things like that.

– Noticing that one of my plants has flowered. Usually I am the complete opposite of green fingered, but I have actually managed not to kill my three plants, and now they are flourishing. Which is a good thing , as all three were presents and I don’t want to have to tell anyone that I killed what they gave me!

your eyes are stars of a different magnitude, they reflect lights that spell out: EXIT

I can’t believe I have to go back to university this Sunday. Dreading it doesn’t even cover it. I am not prepared to dealing with people again. I don’t feel like sitting through long lectures. I haven’t done any of my coursework, and revision isn’t really going well either. I don’t know if I’m going to pass my exams, and I want to, I really want to, but no matter what I do it never feels enough. I feel confused. I feel so stupid.

I’m really scared. Things have been going OK and it feels surreal, feels like I’m waiting for it to fall apart. Because I can’t succeed. I don’t feel like I’m good enough. I try and convince myself that I am, but then I become scared I’ll jinx it. Always this fear. I don’t really know how to be happy, without fearing the loss of it. I continue to tell myself “Everything will be OK”, but it feels more and more like a lie with every passing day. I’m tired of it. It’s not really OK.  I am trying but I don’t know if its enough, and I’m scared of the consequences if I can’t pull through.

Really, I’ll be so happy when this semester is over and done with.

Strange

Today as I was sitting in Japanese class I looked over at the desk in front of me and saw a little notepad with the 4minute and beast logos on it. When the girl came back I caught her attention and asked if she was a fan of kpop.

So today I talked to someone about kpop, for what must be the first time since I got into it. It was surreal listening to her talk about the concerts she has been to and all her friends who are into it too, or will happily listen to her talk about it. Now I kinda feel like crying. I wonder what it is like to be part of a group of fans of something, rather than always be on the outside looking in. Unable to fit in. I will always be a little envious of those little groups. I wonder what its like to not feel embarrassed about your hobbies, like the music I listen to and the dramas I watch are anything to be ashamed about. I don’t know when I learned to be ashamed of these things, or why. Just I know I will never be able to ask that girl to tell me more about the clubs she goes to, and the things she does. It won’t feel right. I’m used to keeping these things to myself by now. I’ve long gotten used to being alone, and somewhere along the line I began to enjoy it. It’s more comfortable this way.

I remember that time I went to the anime club meeting, and how awful I felt afterwards. How little I enjoyed being there. I feel like that now. At least I managed the conversation with this girl. At least I somehow managed to pull it off. It felt so strange to say those names out loud. Man, I don’t know why I asked her if she was a kpop fan. Why did I do that?